Lawn Mower Beer Run

What would you do if your buzz was wearing off but The Man was trying to keep you down by taking your driver's license (due to previous DWI convictions)? Well, if you are anything like Joseph Simme, you'd just hop onto your John Deere and head into town.

continued after the break...

Hot Random British Chick of the Day

= Rosie Jones

Rosie is pretty much British perfection

more after the break...

How to Get Guaranteed Sex From a Lady Friend

click on the image to view this irreplaceable document in full resolution

Sean Hannity - Right Where He Belongs

and no, it's not because he's helping to keep America clean and pure

Happy Friday

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Man Discovers Rat Head in Beer

A retired firefighter was drinking a bottle of Tecate Light at his home in Crystal Beach, TX when his wife noticed that there was a rat's head floating around in the bottle. He is now, understandably, filing suit against the brewer and the distributer.

Apparently, this little incident caused him to vomit,get x-rays,get blood tests,fear drinking out of cans, have trouble eating food that is not prepared in front of him and even kept him from caring for his dying father-in-law


this is waaaay worse than skunky beer


[http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/6940461.html]

Limp Bizkit - A Bunch of Clowns

Try to keep yourself from jumping up and down... Limp Bizkit has a new CD releasing this summer!!!


What? You were able to contain yourself? I can't believe it.

Anyway, they are about to start a 75-date tour promoting their new album titled Sad Clown

The tour will see Limp Bizkit donning full clown get-ups, with each venue across the globe to be “decked out to the nines” in carnival garb. The band will be wearing clown attire for their entire performance, and punters will be greeted with a stick of fairy floss upon entry to each show.

This just sounds fucking ridiculous....

Oh yeah, and some band named Guns 'N' Roses is gonna tour with them too. Go figure

[http://musicfeeds.com.au/news/guns-n-roses-re-unite-to-support-limp-bizkit-on-sad-clown-world-tour/]

Mud Wrestling on Spanish TV

Just because...



As always, thanks to Busted Coverage for the scoop

Hot Random British Chick of the Day

= Sam Cooke

These pics are from the January 2010 issue of Feature Girl Magazine[NSFW]

Deftones Still Got It

I don't know how long ago it was released, but Deftones have posted the video for Rocket Skates, their first single from their new album Diamond Eyes, on Youtube. Gotta say, it was about 50 times better than I had expected.



Diamond Eyes is currently set for release on May 4th, 2010

Dogs and Beer

Few things in life can bring us joy like dogs or beer. Even fewer things can come close to a dog with beer

more after the break...

Beerland Hates SXSW Douches

He's right. Bloggers don't have 100k in student loans for pointless degrees...

...and I don't write much, I usually just post pictures

[http://www.flickr.com/photos/ekai/sets/72157623542460581/]

Kabletown Programming Guide

Last week on 30 Rock, we all learned that 91% of Kabletown's profits comes from men ordering adult movies. Thanks to someone with a DVR and a lot of time, we can now understand why

Hot Random British Chick of the Day

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sending bears with parachutes to find Osama bin Laden

This has got to be the craziest, awesomest idea ever

Could parachute-wearing bears sniff out Osama bin Laden? 

That’s one suggestion the Pentagon has received from someone who noted, quite correctly, that a bear’s sense of smell is much more powerful than a bloodhound’s. 

“Overnight, Parachute some bears into areas [bin Laden] might be,” the innovator wrote. “Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing.”

[http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=68700]

hats off to Thomas Ricks' bad ass Foreign Policy blog for tipping me off on this one

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Support our Troops Pic of the Day

You should see the size of the lotion box

[http://thedailywh.at/]

Clark Kellogg talking Bang Bus

CBS's Clark Kellogg called the NCAA's Midwest bracket the Bang Bus bracket.



 I guess those games will be played in a dirty van driving around Miami.

[http://deadspin.com/5493764/clark-kellogg-renamed-the-midwest-bracket-the-bang-bus-bracket-for-some-reason]

Badass Toast Pic of the Day

[http://epicwinftw.com/2010/03/13/epic-win-photos-mario-toast/]

Happy Daylight Saving Time

Every Monday morning after Daylight Saving Time, I feel like punching Benjamin Franklin in the face

Fuck you, Ben!

Mike Leach has a Potty Mouth

Big ups to Busted Coverage for finding this

Hot Random British Chick of the Day

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Gay Porn Actor Dies Choking on a....

bag of weed.... Yeah, that was my first guess too

[http://gawker.com/5488929/gay-porn-actor-dies-on-camera-after-being-tased-during-reality-show]

Congratulations Corey Feldman!

As of today, there is no longer any more debate on which 'Lost Boy' was more fucked up.

[http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/ktla-corey-haim-obit,0,1628364.story]

Now Everything Makes Sense News Clipping of the Day

[http://probablybadnews.com/2010/03/05/funny-news-what-did-you-think-they-would-be-turned-on/]

What I learned from Watching the Oscars

The Academy Awards were pretty good last night. Here are a few things that they taught me.

1. Christoph Waltz says 'Bingo!' better than any other person on this planet

[http://www.seattlepi.com/tv/1401ap_us_oscars_supporting_actor.html]



2. I can't tell the difference between Rachel McAdams and Elizabeth Banks...

[http://oscar.go.com/red-carpet/82nd-red-carpet]

[http://www.celebrity-gossip.net/celebrities/hollywood/rachel-mcadams-oscar-night-hottie-216761/]

...But that isn't such a bad thing

3. All of the people who won the smaller awards could have finished their speeches if Ben Stiller didn't waste so much time with his douchebaggery

[http://www.etonline.com/awards/oscars/2010/2010/03/84745/]

4. James Cameron's Wife #3 > Wife #5

[http://www.metro.co.uk/metrolife/film/816374-oscars-2010-kathryn-bigelow-makes-history-as-first-woman-to-win-best-director-for-the-hurt-locker]

[http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/cameron-dont-blame-bigelow-for-producers-mistake_1134646]

5. One day Quentin Tarantino will win an Oscar for best picture. Too bad it ended up being Sandra Bullock's mulligan year instead of his

Hot Random British Chick of the Day

= India Reynolds

This pic was lifted from http://www.plunderguide.com/india-reynolds/ [SSFW] - Semi Safe For Work

For NSFW pics, check her out at FRONT and ZOO

Fuck You, Bike Thief! Pic of the Day

[http://www.frontarmy.co.uk/]

Mom + malt liquor + sword = ...

A Memphis mother, drunk off a 40 and wielding a sword, walked into her child's elementary school to confront a kid who got into a spitting match with her child the day before.

[http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/02/25/international/i141753S99.DTL]

No word as of yet if the mother was an active member in the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad

Pizza? Coupon of the Day

This particular offer is for delivery-only:

Juggalo News

Juggalo News is THE most trusted name in news (for meth addicts)



[http://www.metalinjection.net/tv/view/4496/juggalo-news]

Pep Rally Lap Dance

A male teacher gave a lap dance to a female teacher during a pep rally at a high school in Winnipeg. Here's the evidence:



Both teachers are suspended without pay, but it looks like they will get to keep their jobs. Good for them..

[Fanhouse - Pep Rally Lap Dance Gets High School Teachers Suspended]

James Hetfield Hearts Armani

At the moment, it is unclear whether Robert Trujllo also enjoys Armani or he's just there to hold James' umbrella if it happens to rain.

Brian Westbrook Worships Howard Stern's Prostate

Captain Janks, of Howard Stern fame, was able to get onto SportsCenter last night. He claimed to be former Eagles running back Brian Westbrook and totally punked Scott Van Pelt.

Take a look:

Nice Nuts Pic of the Day

So it looks like photobucket isn't a fan of men sitting on the tailgate of their trucks with plastic testicles dangling from the bottom. Whodaguessed...?

Anyway, here's another link

This pic was part of Funtasticus's Daily Cool Pics

Got Spammed by a Nigerian

So, I got this email this morning. If you are interested in screwing with the sender, it's from ... [Edit: Got an apology message from the owner of the email address. Her account had been hacked, but is now fixed. No sense in handing out her email to the world]

Hi its Sandra,

How are you doing? hope all is well with you and family, I know this
might be a surprise to you but I am sorry I didn't inform you about my
traveling to United Kingdom for a Seminar.


I need a favor from you because I misplaced my Handbag on my way to
the  hotel where my money,and other valuable things were kept I will
like  you to assist me with a loan urgently with the sum of $2,500
Dollars to sort-out my hotel bills and get myself back home.


I will appreciate whatever you can afford to help me with and I
promise to pay you back as soon as I return home.


Thank you so much and sorry to bother you.


God bless

Sandra

Tiger Woods Comes Clean

Ponte Vedra, Fla:

BREAKING NEWS:

In what started as a plea to friends, family, sponsors and the public to forgive him for his recent misdeeds, Tiger Woods exposed a part of himself that even his PR team could not have predicted. While reading  a carefully-drafted written statement, Tiger Woods unintentionally revealed to us all that his laundry list of unthinkable behavior was caused by his inability to feel true human emotions because he is truly a Cyborg, built in a NIKE laboraratory to be really fucking good at Golf, while remaining totally detached from the rest of humanity

Gee... that looks tasty Pic of the Day

This pic + lots lots more @ Funtasticus' Daily Cool Pics

Presidents' Day was Good

Played some FIFA on the PS3 and watched a marathon of Pawn Stars, but...

Now it's time to go back to work

Happy Valentines Day

Hope all the WAGs out there had a wonderful St Valentine's day.

and to celebrate, here's some Pong:

Giant Ginger with Tattoos Pic of the Day

Most people may not remember Robert Swift, but he is pretty much the poster-boy for the 19 year age requirement in the NBA. A first round pick by the Seattle Sonics back in 2004, he was oft-injured and even more oft-tattood.

Before:

and after:
(after the break)

...and I Thought My House was Full of Old Shit

Bakoko, some architects from Tokyo, have designed a teahouse that is heated with compost. Nice. My first question... WTF is a teahouse?

[LINK]

SI Celebrates Dead Nazis; Huffington Post Freaks Out

Someone at the Huffington Post must've been so tired from staying up all night to hear updates about Bill Clinton's heart procedure, that they completely fucked up and did the unthinkable - ridiculed a SI Swimsuit picture.



The image above shows the lovely Genevieve Morton posing on a WWII plane with a bunch of swastikas on it. Of course, those swastikas actually represent dead Nazis. C'mon! Didn't we learn anything from Inglourious Basterds? We love our swastikas as long as they're on our planes or on their scalps :)

Read the story HERE

Super Bowl Man-love Pic of the Day

 

This pic was part of Funtasticus's Daily Cool Pics

Hot Random British Chick of the Day

= Rhian Sugden

This pic was lifted from her myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/rhianmarie

For NSFW pics, check her out at NUTS, ZOO and Page 3

Some Onion Peels

The good folks at The Onion offer a lot of wonderful news and information. Here are some of today's highlights:


Hard research on the NASCAR demographic

Valentine's specials for that special someone

Spiritual advise

Lap Dances for Haiti

Ok fellas, if you are the charitable type, it's time to gather up your singles and head off to Toledo, Ohio. A local strip club donated all of the cover charges it received on Sunday to the relief effort in Haiti. What will be next Sunday's charitable event? Maybe baby formula for single working moms...

lol...


From the AP - LINK

And a video from a local newscast:

Chris Cooley interviewing Floyd Mayweather

Chris Cooley is a damn good Tight End, but is also a pretty funny dude. Last week, he teamed up with the Ocho Cinco News Network and covered the Super Bowl. Here's an interview he did with Floyd Mayweather last Friday.



To check out more of Chris, head over to his Blog

Notre Dame Trickery

Less than a week since signing day, The Onion Sports Network explains how Notre Dame, despite constantly sucking, is able to land prized recruits.

LINK:The Onion

Tebow Super Bowl Ad... way overhyped..

You can accuse conservatives of a lot of things, but one thing you can't say about the more affluent conservatives is that they are stupid. The Super Bowl ad featuring Tim Tebow's mother, Pam, and sponsored by anti-choice group Focus on the Family, was totally tame. I guess that explains why CBS allowed it... but thanks to the liberal uproar about what might be in the ad, everyone watching ended up knowing the exact point they were getting across, even though they didn't have to say a damn thing.

Christian Right - 1, Overreactors - 0

Watch the ad:

FIRST!!

Well, its official! The blog is up. A little bit about what you can expect to see from 'My Wasted Day'... well, I sit behind a computer for 8 hours a day at work, then once work is done, I get onto my home computer for a little longer. Although this habit kills any possible life I may otherwise have, it allows me to reach every corner of the interwebs. This will basically be a collection of interesting shit I find on my journey sprinkled in with a bit of personal opinions.

Honestly, I have no idea what will end up on this bitch - I just hope that I remember to update her :)